The Latest Reports from the CIA (Cedros Intelligence Agency)

The Headlines: Larry Achong Live!  - Friendly Fire? - Alcoa's Science Fiction Project

Larry Achong, MP speaks to Cedros Residents

Member of Parliament for Pt. Fortin (as in not Cedros!) Larry Achong has been going on State visits around the Peninsula holding public meetings. Despite the fact that Mr. Achong choose to appear flanked by an armed guard with a machine gun, the CIA infiltrated the meeting and filed the following report:

"Not Just a Smelter but Industrial Development all the Way to Icacos"
Mr. Achong was not swayed by any calls to develop tourism or anything else in the area but insisted that we need Ethylene plants down here. Start packing your bags, Cedros will be looking like Pt Lisas soon.

"Agriculture is Dead!"
The exact words of Mr. Achong at the meeting. So forget going to the market in the future and better start buying imported foods. While the CIA is convinced that you can't eat oil, Mr. Achong seems to be single minded that we don't need to eat food. We at the CIA are not so sure that he thinks we need air either, judging from his chain smoking "indoor pollution" policy enacted at the public meeting at Cedros.

"No Jobs for Cedros Residents!"
Another winner from the words of the beloved MP. When asked about how many people from Cedros will get jobs in the proposed smelter, he said "they can get jobs if they are qualified." When then asked how they can get qualified, the MP replied that they could get technical training. Of course not in Cedros, there is no such training available. Actually, we don't think there's a smelter school anywhere in T&T. The MP could not promise one single job in the planned smelter to us here in Cedros, but he was sure we could get some "downstream" jobs like working with the cleaning crew or jobs in "construction" while the plant is under construction.

"I don't care what the Wall Street Journal says!"
When asked about Alcoas own admittance that their plant workers have increased cancer risk, which was reported in the Wall Street Journal, the MP answered, "I don't care what the Wall Street Journal says"

"I don't care what you say, you don't count!"
MP Achong to a Cedros Peninsula resident concerned about the smelter.

"If Cedros people want housing, they can apply and move to Pt. Fortin"
MP Achong again when being asked about housing for Cedros Peninsula Residents.

In conclusion, it looks like Cedros is in good hands with Mr. Achong. We are looking forward to seeing him again appearing in a Community Center near you. Better comedy than Learie Joseph and 100% free of charge. A transcript of MP Achongs appearances is available at CIA headquarters for a small donation of $1 billion US. Cash Only, No phony "oil dollars" please! The funds will be used to build our own personal smelters in Westmoorings and Maraval.

CIA Quiz = What is an Enviromentally Friendly Smelter?

People have been asking this question. How can a aluminum smelter be envrionmentally "friendly"? The answer can be found in the dictionary: Friendly Fire def.: Killed by Friendly Fire is Being killed by your own people

Alcoa's Science Fiction Project

The CIA has obtained the EMA application Alcoa filed for their mega smelter project in Chatham/Cap-De-Ville and it is amazing reading if you are into Science Fiction. According to their application they are planning a smelter suspended in mid air that beams waste into space. Great reading. Click here for the full story.